A Hitchhiker's Guide to Kolob

A Fictitious Discussion Between a Mormon Missionary and a Catholic Layman

"Now let me get this straight, Elder Kimball. Are you trying to tell me God the Father lives on a planet named Kolob somewhere out in space?"

"Well, yes, and no. Actually, he lives on a planet near a star called Kolob, but we don't know exactly where it is."

"How can you people possibly believe God lives on a planet near a star named Kolob?"

"Well, the prophet Joseph Smith received a revelation from God in which. . ."

"...How? Did God transport him to this Kolob so he could get a good look at it?"

"No. Joseph Smith received this revelation in the form of a divine record contained in an ancient Egyptian papyri which he translated by the gift and power of God. The message is now known as The Book of Abraham."

"How can I get to Kolob?"

"You can't. God wouldn't permit it."

"Then how can I find out more about Kolob?"

"As I said, the bulk of the information is in The Book of Abraham."

"Where could I get a copy?" . . .

(continue reading in PDF form)

Coming Soon to a Doorbell Near You: Mormon Missionaries

Last week, during my EWTN "Open Line" radio show (Thursdays at 3:00 p.m. ET), I took a call from "John in Harrisburg, PA." He wanted my advice regarding his growing doubts about the Catholic Church which have arisen since he began studying with Mormon missionaries who've been trying their best to convert him to Mormonism. And their efforts have been paying off big time. Their discussions with John have left him feeling confused and doubtful about his Catholic beliefs and increasingly drawn toward the Mormon Church. Click the image above to launch the 11-minute MP3 audio clip of our on-air conversation (or click here).

Also, be sure to book mark and take a look at the online version of Jerald and Sandra Tanner's monumental (and monumentally helpful) exposé of the manifold problems with Mormon theology, The Changing World of Mormonism. Please be sure to share it with any Catholic you might know who has sucumbed to the wiles of the Mormon missionaries or who may be studying with them now and is on the road to sucumbing.

Go Ahead and Laugh. You've Had a Long Day. You Deserve It.

And while you're at it, why don't you take a shot at captioning this picture.

They Are Celebrities. Hear Them Roar in Numbers too Big to Ignore

It's getting weirder out there. Check out this new propaganda video featuring a lot of Beautiful People who are pledging themselves silly in support for hope and change. Some of the stuff they're pledging to do falls into the category of mere quasi-morality and even pseudo-morality. The weirdest and most disturbing part happens at the 3:18 mark. See what you think.

I Never Imagined Ice Cream Could Be Controversial

Ben & Jerry's Hubby Hubby:

The company's press release sez:

Ben & Jerry’s, known for its euphoric ice cream flavors and dedication to social justice, celebrates the beginning of the freedom to marry for gay and lesbian couples in Vermont with the symbolic renaming of its well-known ice cream flavor “Chubby Hubby” to “Hubby Hubby.” In partnership with Freedom to Marry, Ben & Jerry’s aims to raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality and, to show its support, will serve “Hubby Hubby” sundaes in Vermont Scoop Shops throughout the month of September.

Ben & Jerry’s has a long history of commitment to social justice, including gay rights. Its partnership with Freedom to Marry, a national leader in the movement for marriage equality, aims to raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality and to encourage other states to follow the blazing trails of Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, and Maine. Freedom to Marry promotes the national conversation about why marriage equality matters and brings together partner organizations into a larger whole – a shared civil rights campaign.

“At the core of Ben & Jerry’s values, we believe that social justice can and should be something that every human being is entitled to,” said Walt Freese, Chief Executive Officer of Ben & Jerry’s. “From the very beginning of our 30 year history, we have supported equal rights for all people. The legalization of marriage for gay and lesbian couples in Vermont is certainly a step in the right direction and something worth celebrating with peace, love and plenty of ice cream.”

To kick off the celebration, Ben & Jerry’s and Freedom to Marry will be publicly supporting the first marriages of gay and lesbian couples in Vermont and raising awareness for marriage equality and how to take action by driving consumers to freedomtomarry.org. By logging onto the site, people can show their support, sign a Marriage Resolution Petition, have conversations about why marriage matters and learn more about how they can support the cause.

“It’s not polite to talk with your mouth full, but the most important thing that all us ice cream lovers can do to support the freedom to marry is speak with the people we know about why marriage matters and the need to end marriage discrimination in every state”,” said Evan Wolfson, executive director of Freedom to Marry. “Thanks to Ben & Jerry’s, starting those needed conversations has never been sweeter – and thanks to Freedom to Marry, we all now have a great excuse to eat more ice cream.” . . .

I want to see this movie

Read Father Robert Barron's insightful review of this intriguing new movie.

I hope to see you in Madison this Friday

From the diocesan website:

The evening begins at 6:00 pm with one hour of Adoration and singing by the KDM Schola Choir, followed by Patrick’s talk from 7-9:30. His talk will include an intermission, Q & A, and an opportunity to purchase his books.

Register online by going to www.madisondiocese.org, then clicking the Patrick Madrid link. Tickets are $10 each. But when pre-registering online, you save $2 on tickets you pick up at the door. This event is sponsored by the Knights of Divine Mercy in association with the Madison Diocese Office of Evangelization. Call 608-821-3160 for further information.

The Madrid/Winters Contretemps Gets Noticed by First Things

Along with countless others who appreciate excellent writing and trenchant, incisive commentary from a Catholic perspective, I have long read and admired First Things Magazine. And now I have a new reason to like those folks: They took notice of and commented on the little dust-up I've been involved in with some apparatchiks in the community of disciples over at the National Catholic Reporter and America Magazine, as well as with one rather peculiar blogger on the fringe who's been taking a few potshots of his own.

I know that this discussion is really but a tempest in a teapot. However, since it is happening in my teapot, I'd like to send a thankful shout-out to The Anchoress and say "thanks for noticing! I appreciate your thoughtful commentary."

(Let me add that I do have one minor difference of opinion with her observations: I really don't think my opening gambit in this discussion was "undeniably rough." Forthright, yes, but rough?)

The Catholic Donnybrook; One Kennedy Legacy?

Sep 1, 2009
Elizabeth Scalia

In John Ford’s classic film, The Quiet Man, John Wayne plays Sean Thornton, a quintessential American gone back to Ireland to connect with his roots. He marries Mary Kate Danaher, who warns him with a measure of pride, “I have a fearsome temper; we Danahers are a fighting people.” The highlight of the film is an epic donnybrook pitting Thornton against Mary Kate’s brother, the bellicose “Red” Will Danaher; it is a fight over cultural and moral understandings, and as the fisticuffs spill through a meadow and into the towns and pubs, the townspeople enthusiastically join in. Other communities send spectators and even the priests and bishops look on and make discreet wagers.

Something like that is occurring within the Catholic web community over the death and subsequent mainstream media—glorification (and alternate media grimaces) of the man often called the Liberal Lion of the U.S. Senate.

Here is what’s going on: Over at the National Catholic Reporter, Sr. Maureen Fiedler posted that Kennedy made her proud to be Catholic. It would be dishonest to pretend that there are not thousands of Catholics, particularly those of Boomer-age and older, who completely understand Sr. Maureen’s sentiment.

Taking an opposing viewpoint, writer Patrick Madrid responded:

Maureen, with all due respect, I can appreciate your nostalgia for the Kennedys, but I cannot understand why you would insist that Senator Edward Kennedy was a “champion of the welfare of ‘the least of these’” among us. . . . Whatever his positive qualities may have been, and no doubt he had some, the tragic reality is that Sen. Kennedy’s long political career was squandered by his vociferous, relentless promotion of abortion. And that, sadly, will be his enduring legacy.

Well. Over at America magazine, the usually restrained Michael Sean Winters did not like that—did not like that at all:

Someone named Patrick Madrid, who runs a blog and is involved with something called the Envoy Institute . . . decided to attack my colleague at NCR, Sr. Maureen Fiedler for her post remembering the late Senator. “Maureen, with all due respect,” he begins, words that reek of condescension.

Oh. My. “With all due respect,” rather than reeking of condescension, seems a sensible preface to polite disagreement, but I am pretty sure that “Someone named Patrick Madrid, who is a blogger, involved with something called. . .” actually does reek of both condescension and too, the haughty huff of one writer believing his credibility, and thus his opinion, is to be vastly preferred compared over another’s. Clearly, Michael Sean Winters was writing while angry enough to be the equal of the wildest and most wrathful Celt who ever stepped across a bog.

The Catholics are going to tear each other apart over Ted Kennedy. Is that really the legacy anyone wants to bequeath to him?

Winters continued:

Who are these people? To what level of boorishness have the spokespeople for the pro-life community descended?

Again, a bit condescending. Just a tad. There appears to be a class clash, here, reminiscent of the GOP intelligensia and their response to non–Ivy League Harriet Miers and that upstart peasant Sarah Palin. “Eww . . . who are they?”

It’s not a great way for folks in general to regard each other, but for fellow Catholics, one may bet the Mighty John O’Connor or the Tender Timothy Dolan would counsel, ala Spencer Tracy, “ixnay; on the uperioritysay anceday; it won’t get anyone to heaven.”

[ . . . ]

Madrid’s work may be unknown to the “better elements” of Catholic punditry, but his career is a respectable one and while his undeniably rough piece displeased Winters in tone and timing, he did have a point.

(continue reading)

U.S. Catholic Bishops Assail Parts of Health Care Plan

As more and more U.S. bishops speak out and make clear the real and permanent connection between the Catholic Church's pro-life teachings and the current health-care debate, the media spin and obfuscation from the new left-wing regime in D.C. is working to counteract their message.

That's why it's so important that you read what the bishops are saying about the linkage between the government's current health-care debacle and the pro-life teachings of the Catholic Church.

For example, check out this statement issued recently by the bishops of Kansas City, as well as this insightful commentary written by the redoubtable Archbishop Charles Chaput of Denver.

And here's an interesting video to boot:

Top Ten Father Corapi Facts

A Crazy Little Thing Called "Hate"

I had figured that Michael Sean Winters' recent psychodrama in America Magazine — “The Boors Who Demean Ted Kennedy” — would have a brief shelf-life, as most such gimcrackery usually does, but I was wrong.

A related outbreak of foot-in-mouth disease has erupted on a blog written by a theologian named William D. Lindsey who, like Mr. Winters, excoriated my response to Sr. Maureen Fiedler's obit for Ted Kennedy ("He Made Me Proud to Be a Catholic"). He characterized my comments as "hating on Ted Kennedy" and being part of a wider "festival of hate."

Hate? Hate? Eh, not so much.

Upon scrutinizing Mr. Lindsey's complaints, I must say that I just don't see "hate" in the words and actions of the Catholics he attacks, such as Archbishop Charles Chaput of Denver, whom he accuses by name of joining in with those who are "shouting and threatening and jubilating at the thought of destruction of good people and good plans."

That kind of fatuous nonsense is reminiscent of a line from Alice in Wonderland:

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

Oh, yes, I do indeed. And it would appear that Mr. Lindsey inhabits a world very much like that which Alice describes.

(Thought Experiment: Read Mr. Lindsey's blog post for yourself and tell me who you think is doing all the shouting and threatening, etc., mkay? And, of course, if you'd really like to test the veracity of his accusations, why not join us in person on October 8th when we honor Archbishop Chaput for his stalwart defense of the Catholic Faith. Come meet the good archbishop in person, hear him speak, and see for yourself if he is anything even remotely like the cretin described in Mr. Lindsey's risible caricature.)

And if you wish to peruse Mr. Lindsey's fulsome fulminations regrding moi and the monks and faculty of Belmont Abbey College, simply scroll down past about 20 tedious paragraphs to the one which begins, "MIchael Sean Winters has dared . . ."

And be sure to take note of the loving terminology he uses to describe Catholics who speak up about things like, you know, abortion. Here are a few examples of the love being dished out on his blog:

"Ghouls and goblins now prancing around in the light of day, occupying center stage," "mobs," "exceptionally mean-spirited," "army of malicious fools," "maleficence," and, of course, the ever-popular epithets reserved especially for when one is speaking about pro-life men and women: "hate" and "hatred."

When one encounters such torrid rhetoric, so heavily freighted with invective, as this stuff is, you just have to wonder where all that rage is coming from. It sure isn't consonant with the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

Even a theologian should be able to recognize that.

A Look at Senator Kennedy's Letter to the Pope

Portions of the personal letter which the late Senator Edward Kennedy sent to Pope Benedict XVI some months before he died have been published online.

Kennedy was, understandably, reaching out for some spiritual comfort and encouragement from the pope — something which the Holy Father duly assured him of in his letter of response. While some of the senator's comments, such as where he begs the pope to pray for him, are poignant and elicit my heartfelt sympathy, others I find somewhat . . . curious. In any case, today being the Lord's Day, I will continue to pray for the late senator in a special way, offering my Communion intention at Mass today for the repose of his soul.

Excerpts of the letter from Sen. Edward M. Kennedy that President Barack Obama delivered to Pope Benedict XVI earlier this year and an account of the pope's response, as read by Cardinal Theodore E. McCarrick, archbishop emeritus of Washington:

"Most Holy Father I asked President Obama to personally hand deliver this letter to you. As a man of deep faith himself, he understands how important my Roman Catholic faith is to me, and I am so deeply grateful to him. I hope this letter finds you in good health. I pray that you have all of God's blessings as you lead our church and inspire our world during these challenging times. I am writing with deep humility to ask that you pray for me as my own health declines.

"I was diagnosed with brain cancer more than a year ago and although I continue treatment, the disease is taking its toll on me. I am 77 years old and preparing for the next passage of life. I have been blessed to be part of a wonderful family and both of my parents, particularly my mother, kept our Catholic faith at the center of our lives. That gift of faith has sustained and nurtured and provides solace to me in the darkest hours. I know that I have been an imperfect human being, but with the help of my faith I have tried to right my path. I want you to know Your Holiness that in my nearly 50 years of elective office I have done my best to champion the rights of the poor and open doors of economic opportunity. I have worked to welcome the immigrant, to fight discrimination and expand access to health care and education. I have opposed the death penalty and fought to end war.

"Those are the issues that have motivated me and have been the focus of my work as a United States senator. I also want you to know that even though I am ill, I am committed to do everything I can to achieve access to health care for everyone in my country. This has been the political cause of my life. I believe in a conscience protection for Catholics in the health field and I will continue to advocate for it as my colleagues in the Senate and I work to develop an overall national health policy that guarantees health care for everyone. I have always tried to be a faithful Catholic, Your Holiness, and though I have fallen short through human failings, I have never failed to believe and respect the fundamental teachings of my faith. I continue to pray for God's blessings on you and on our church and would be most thankful for your prayers for me."

An account from the Vatican of the pope's response, according to McCarrick . . . (continue reading)

Senator Ted Kennedy Will Not Become a Mormon Any Time Soon

The late Senator Kennedy's funeral has not even taken place yet, and already someone who is either a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (a.k.a. Mormons), or someone who would simply like to embarrass them, has been making preparations to share the "restored gospel" with the senator in the afterlife. Read on, and you'll see what I mean.

One of the interesting and exotic features of the Mormon Church is its temple ritual of baptism for the dead. No, they don't baptize dead bodies. Rather, church members who possess "temple recommends" (a document which officially certifies them for up to one year as being worthy) are encouraged to visit any of the 130+ Mormon temples around the world and are themselves baptized on behalf of deceased persons, who may not have ever been Mormon in this life. (For additional info, see this Catholic Answers tract adapted from an article I wrote in 1989 about Mormonism's baptism for the dead).

Mormons sincerely believe that they can be baptized for deceased people who, the LDS Church teaches, are waiting in "spirit prison" for celestial Mormon missionaries to visit them, preach the gospel to them, and thus enable them — if the prisoner accepts the gospel message — to leave spirit prison and move upward along the path of eternal progression into the various levels of the celestial realm.

To wit, this comes from today's Salt Lake Tribune:

It's not certain whether the late Sen. Ted Kennedy would be more palatable to conservative Utah Republicans if he were a Mormon, but it appears someone tried to make that happen.

Just one day after Kennedy died, someone apparently posted his name on an LDS Church database to have him placed on the list to be posthumously baptized.

That posting was uncovered by researcher Helen Radkey, who has been critical of the church practice.

But, alas, Kennedy won't become a Mormon anytime soon. Whoever placed his name on the list was not authorized to do so, and the church's database security system put a block on it.

According to church policy, a person is not eligible to be baptized posthumously until a year after death. It also is against the policy for anyone to place someone's name on the list who is not related to that person.

The security system also is set up to catch the listing of famous people, like Ted Kennedy, who may be placed on the list as a hoax. (Source)

Some Follow-Up Comments on Yesterday's America Magazine Paroxysm

Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions

And now for something completely different. Yesterday was a bit more hectic than usual. So here's some levity to change the pace.