April 1, 2010
What are these?

"They are the digital-age equivalent of crop circles -- mysterious patterns appearing on the Australian Bureau of Meteorology's national radar system without any explanation. UFOs, perhaps?
"And the random images, described as red stars, rings of fire and white doughnuts, are sending online conspiracy Web sites into meltdown. The anomalies first began on January 15 when an "iced doughnut" appeared over Kalgoorlie in Western Australia.
"Satellite imagery showed there was no cloud over the area at the time to explain the unusual phenomenon, but farmers' online comments claimed it was "unusually hot" all day. It was followed by a bizarre red star over Broome on January 22 and a sinister spiral burst over Melbourne described by amateur radar buffs as the Ring Of Fire Fault.
"The Bureau, which did not respond to repeated requests for comment, has acknowledged the anomalies on its popular Web site. It has posted a disclaimer above the national loop feed putting the images down to 'occasional interference to the radar data.'
"'If you notice any circular patterns or straight lines originating from the center of the radar location, this is due to occasional interference to the radar data. The Bureau is currently investigating ways to reduce these interferences.' the disclaimer said.
"Conspiracy Web sites, however, have lit up with dozens of breathless theories behind the strange anomalies from alien involvement, secret military testing to government weather modification. One theory gaining traction online is the belief the U.S. military has expanded its High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program. . . ." (continue reading)
A Catholic Actor Who Won't Compromise on Sex Scenes

"[He] is a marvelous actor who elevates every role he plays, whether it's in Band of Brothers or Desperate Housewives."So when he was suddenly replaced with David James Elliott 3 days into the filming on ABC's new series Scoundrels earlier this week, there had to be a story behind the story. The move was officially explained as a casting change. But, in fact, McDonough was sacked because of his refusal to do some heated love scenes with babelicious star (and Botox pitchwoman) Virginia Madsen.The reason?He's a family man and a Catholic, and he's always made it clear that he won't do sex scenes. And ABC knew that. Because he also didn't get into action with Nicolette Sheridan on the network'sDesperate Housewives when he played her psycho husband during Season 5. And he also didn't do love scenes with his on-air girlfriend in his previous series, NBC's Boomtown, or that network's Medical Investigation."'It has cost him jobs, but the man is sticking to his principles,' a source explained to me. You can't help but admire McDonough for sticking to his beliefs, even if he's poised to lose as much as $1 million in paydays..." (continue reading)
Five for Ten
The Updated Version of Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper"
THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER (TRADITIONAL VERSION)
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
The End.
[MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself.]
* * * * *
THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER (MODERN VERSION)
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
When winter comes, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, “It's Not Easy Being Green . . .”
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then the Rev. Al Sharpton has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Dear Leader condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses, dragging the rest of the free world with it.
The End.
[MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010 and 2012.]
Author unknown.
De Profundis

By Jeremy A. Kaplan
- FOXNews.com
A submarine exploring the ocean's depths recently returned with an unexpected visitor: a crablike critter that has left many readers startled and horrified.
In a posting to social bookmarking site Reddit, a deep-sea technician detailed the finding, asking the site's readers to help identify what exactly the bizarre looking creature was.
The post reads, "I work for a Sub-sea Survey Company, recently this beast came up attached to one of our ROVs. It measures a wee bit over 2.5 feet head to tail, and we expect it latched onto the ROV at roughly 8,500 feet depth. Unfortunately, the e-mail that these pictures were attached to came from a contractor, and the ship he was operating from (and therefore location) is unknown, so I can't tell you what part of the Earth this beast was living."
The pictures reveal the creature to be a giant isopod, a large crustacean that dwells in deep Atlantic and Pacific waters. This particular creature is a Bathynomus giganteus, a deep-sea scavenger that feeds on dead whales, fish and squid. . . . (continue reading)