“Just another guy with a blog.  No big whoop.”

April 1, 2010

The Updated Version of Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper"


THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER (TRADITIONAL VERSION)

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

The End.

[MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself.]


* * * * *

THE ANT & THE GRASSHOPPER (MODERN VERSION)

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The
grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

When winter comes, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN,
and
ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog
appears on Oprah
with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, “It's Not Easy Being Green . . .”

ACORN
stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then the Rev. Al Sharpton has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Dear Leader
condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of
the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The
ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs
and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the
grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire Nation collapses, dragging the rest of the free world with it.

The End.

[MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010 and 2012.]

Author unknown.


3 comments:

  1. Unfortunately, this is exactly the kind of thing that liberals use to say conservatives who oppose the social programs they favor are motivated by not-so-subtle racism. It's also not a fair portrayal of the difference between the insured and the uninsured and the struggling and the comfortable, even in this country where "poverty" is usually very different from what was called that in other times and places.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is not about health care, it is LIFE AS WE KNOW IT in the USA!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow I guess I'm a republican-never really looked it that way before! Screw that Grasshopper

    ReplyDelete

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